I am a planner!
And a worrier! And perhaps even
a bit of a control freak! So when my children were in high school, I was
constantly worrying about where each of them would go to college. Were they making good academic choices? Were they choosing the best
extracurricular activities? Would
they each get into the college of their choice? Would that college of choice be a good one? Try as I might to let them figure out
and do things on their own, I couldn’t help myself from offering my thoughts
time and again. And given that
professionally I was a college counselor, I had quite a few thoughts.
I figured when they matriculated to their chosen college, my
job would be done. Wrong! When they were in college, my worries
didn’t disappear, they just shifted.
Would they be able to get a job?
Did they choose the right major?
Had they made constructive summer choices? Again, I figured that as soon as they all had jobs and were
off into the real world making money and living on their own, I could rest
easy.
But now – while all three are gainfully employed – my
worries have only shifted further.
With only one child married, I worry: will my other two children find a
suitable spouse? Once married, how
will they manage raising children and having satisfying careers? And then when they have kids,
will those children make good academic choices? Choose the best extracurricular activities? Get into the college of their choice? I told you – I am a worrier.
While I tell my counselees to view the college search and
application process as a journey of personal discovery and not a prize to be won,
I must admit that I, too, am still trying to focus less on the end result and
instead focus more on enjoying life's journey. I am trying to be less the director, manager, and boss and
more the cheerleader behind the scenes – offering advice when asked and
providing positive support always.
I am not sure my children would say I have been successful, but the
important thing is: I am trying. A
mother's work is never done!
